Manbearpig: Can he be stopped?
April 18, 2011
Filed under A&E
In small towns all across the country, communities are living unaware to an ever-present danger. I’m talking of course, about Manbearpig. He is half man, half bear, and half pig; he is the single biggest threat to the world as we know it.
Despite tireless efforts by Al Gore to raise awareness about Manbearpig, students at RHS seem to know almost nothing about the dangers of Manbearpig.
“I have no idea what Manbearpig is,” junior Dalton Brown said.
There are rumors around RHS concerning his diet, most of them being untrue. Manbearpig’s diet is consistent with that of a man’s, but it is very close to a bear or a pig’s diet also.
“I heard, that Manbearpig survives primarily on a diet of cheetos, and baby green asparagus,” sophomore Jacob Siehr said.
There have never been any confirmed sightings of Manbearpig, but there is still great danger of a Manbearpig attack.
“I have never had and first-hand experiences with Manbearpig, but I have heard stories about him,” junior Paul Marsala said.
Those RHS students who have been educated on the threat of Manbearpig have some creative ideas for how the school can help to educate other students on Manbearpig.
“The school could put signs up in the hallways and bathrooms, giving information on how to spot Manbearpig and how to defend yourself against him,” junior Miles Wilson said.
Although the dangers of Manbearpig are very real, education is the one tool we can use to stop him.
“If there’s any justice in the world, Manbearpig has to be stopped, there’s no other alternative,” senior Jason Howard said.