Imagine if you woke up one day with a different gender. You might feel confused and trapped by a new and foreign body, and might try to do anything to feel like yourself again. This is the plight of transgendered people worldwide. Ethan Pickell, a sophomore at Rolla High School, was born a male but identifies as female.
“Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve always loved the lifestyle of being a woman. I used to dress up in my grandmother’s heels and lipstick all the time when I was younger. It was such a fun thing to do. I remember back in elementary school, I would tell the other kids that I always wanted to be a girl. They would always look at me weird and taunt me, but I never cared.” Pickell said.
Even though other kids disagreed, being a woman has always felt natural to Pickle.
“In a way, I’ve always known I was transgendered. There was always this inner sense that I was a woman. When I first started experimenting with gender, it felt slightly awkward but freeing. I felt like I was finally being myself. And over time, it felt less awkward. When I view myself as a woman, I feel happier and more comfortable with myself,” Pickell said.
Although identifying as a woman was natural to Pickell, many of her peers did not see eye to eye with her on this topic.
“Junior high is when the bullying got really bad. I would get called numerous names and some people would even follow me in the hallways yelling names at me. It created a lot of depression and anxiety. And I started self harming to deal with it,” Pickle said.
Pickell’s self harm began in 8th grade when the bullying got more intense. It escalated into suicidal thoughts, until her friends and family noticed something was wrong and got her help, and she has not self harmed in over a year.
“There are many alternatives to deal with pain and frustration. Some of people think words don’t hurt, but they really do.
Sometimes words can hurt more than anything. Bullying needs to stop. It doesn’t do anything but hurt others.” Pickell said.
Most people aren’t interested in understanding Pickell, but instead they make rude comments.
“Most of the insensitive things I get are comments such as disgusting, fake, freak, attention-seeking, faggot [and] etc. I don’t get many questions but when I do it’s usually someone asking me why I dress the way I do.” Pickell said.
With the opposition Pickell faces at school, she is lucky to have a supportive family background.
“My parents are very supportive. It is such a blessing to have family that supports me and understands that this is who I am. I came out by just telling them that I’m transgendered and that I feel like a woman inside. I wasn’t really nervous about telling them because I know they would accept it. They took it very well. They support me all the way. And I’m so grateful,” Pickell said.