Nonchalant, as defined by Oxford Languages, is to be “feeling or appearing casually calm and relaxed; not displaying anxiety, interest, or enthusiasm.” But social media has created a twist on the definition. Nowadays, being nonchalant is a slang term, similar to the dictionary definition but to an extreme. Now, to be nonchalant, you have to be completely emotionless; you can’t show you care about anything; you have to be completely chill. This has been a very prevalent theme, especially among teenagers and pre-teens—to not show any emotion ever. From schoolwork to relationships, this societal pressure to be chill is affecting everything. Algebra teacher Frannie Lowrey has noticed this in her own classroom.
“I definitely see people who are really good at math. They may not necessarily like it … but I see people who are good at math play the ‘I’m not good at this, I can’t do this’ card because that’s what their friends do,” Lowrey said.
Sophomore Genevieve Webb has also noticed her peers putting on a front of nonchalance during class, in an attempt to seem “cool”.
“When I sit in my classes, there will be the ‘popular kids’ with their makeup and lip liner thinking they are ‘too cool for school’, and they’re in these advanced classes with me, acting like they don’t care,” Webb said.
More than just pretending they don’t care, students will also refuse to do their work and get in trouble just to prove that they are above it all.
“They definitely pretend like they don’t care about anything, especially their grades or if they’re getting written up for something,” Lowrey said.
Senior Maria Polizzi has seen this in her peers—the lack of passion and energy in the classroom nowadays.
“I do notice the need for young people to not share their needs or passions, especially in the classroom. No one wants to be the boy who likes math or the girl that likes to read,” Polizzi said.
Along with the need to be ‘nonchalant’, there’s also a lot of pushing to be ‘chalant’ online. New slang has been created from this movement, the word ‘chalant’ is a direct foil to nonchalant, meaning to be very expressive with your emotions and show how much you care about things. Unfortunately, this hasn’t been as prevalent in the real world as it is online.
“Being who you are is so celebrated in the media, but it’s not put into practice every day … There’s a false sense of community online. It’s easy to support people or be behind a cause if you don’t actually have to stand up for it,” Polizzi said.
It’s all too easy for vulnerability to exist in a vacuum. In a space with an algorithm tailored specifically to your interests, it’s far too easy to think everyone has the same opinions and beliefs as you.
“There’s a movement online for men’s mental health and men showing their emotion, and these are all great things, but if we don’t put it into practice in everyday life and allow them to show that, then they will never change,” Polizzi said.
Men especially face the stigma or expectation to be “nonchalant” or emotionless.
“It’s another one of the social standards … men don’t get emotional or show that much emotion … Because men are seen as workers, they don’t have time to show emotion. In reality, the healthiest relations are those where both parties are in tune with their emotions and are vulnerable with each other,” Polizzi said.
This expectation has been drilled into our culture and is greatly affecting dating. Boys are supposed to be neutral and not show interest in their crush or partner.
“I know this one guy, and he likes a girl I know, and I can see it. You can just see it in the way he interacts with her and she knows it, but he won’t admit it, and I think society has just made emotions seem wrong,” Webb said.
As proven time and time again, trends cannot define authenticity. A façade of nonchalantless will never do anything but cause harm, ruining moments of genuine human connection and vulnerability.
“Stop caring what other people think and be yourself. It matters that you’re happy and you make other people happy,” Lowrey said.
